<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Light and Milluki's Potato Chip Royale by illegalmushrooms</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101708">Light and Milluki's Potato Chip Royale</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalmushrooms/pseuds/illegalmushrooms'>illegalmushrooms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga), Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Oneshot, Petty, crackish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101708</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalmushrooms/pseuds/illegalmushrooms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The convenience store only has one remaining bag of plain potato chips. Who will get it? oneshot</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Light and Milluki's Potato Chip Royale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It starts with a chip bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To someone like Milluki, who spends most of his days with his eyes peeled to the computer screen, a plain bag of chips is the best option. Rather than seasoned flavors, the plain chips leave less residue on the fingers, and consequently, less residue on the keyboard. Even despite this, Milluki’s keyboard is far from clean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Light’s case, the plain chips work best to prevent family from stealing them. He couldn’t care less about the flavor, only about how well the chip’s foiled bag can store the small television receiver he’s purchased. When he’s in the zone, he can barely even tell what he’s eating--the thrill of a Kira spree overtakes any and all other thoughts in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These two seemingly strangers are about to meet, through some strange twist of fate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The neighborhood convenience store is where Light frequents his potato chip purchases. He keeps mostly to himself, usually tucking himself into a heavy coat of some sort, and shuffles into the store, beelining for the aisle laden with chip bags. This time, he’s extra-cautious as he slinks inside, avoiding any unnecessary attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki hasn’t left the house in years, but one thing leads to another and he’s out hundreds of miles from the mansion that is his home. Even coming from an assassin family, Milluki has never been fond of the trade- after all, that requires leaving his small haven of anime figurines and computer tech for the harsh reality of the real world. Even now, as he enters the brightly-lit convenience store, he’s thinking of the busty plastic girls that are probably collecting dust on his shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If Killua so much as touches them, I’ll kill him,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Milluki thinks, gritting his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being rather late at night, the convenience store is emptier than usual, which Milluki doesn’t mind. It saves him a lot of trouble, this way. He aims for the chips, already keeping in mind the brand and flavor that he’s planning to get, salivating at the thought of the fried potato goodness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, the two murderers don’t catch each other’s attention. They stand side-by-side, eyeing the array of brightly colored chip bags, only just about registering the presence of the other killer and thinking of them as nothing other than a fellow shopper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki’s hand reaches out first. There’s one remaining bag of the plain flavor, but just before his chubby fingers can even so much as touch the package, Light deftly snatches up the bag. It comes as almost a shock to the both of them when they see that the space behind the bag is empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light is holding the last package of chips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki narrows his eyes. “I want those chips.” He says, holding out a hand. Milluki is used to getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and he’s not keen on breaking such a habit at this very moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light doesn’t respond, but he makes a move towards the checkout counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki surprises himself and grabs the stranger by the back of his coat. Light stops, and Milluki can just about hear the chip bag crinkle as Light’s hand tightens to a fist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I arrived first.” Light says, keeping his voice to barely above a whisper. He doesn’t have time to waste on a stranger in a convenience store- his little sister is expecting him home soon, and if he doesn't replace the chips soon he’s sure she’ll go for his rigged bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I want these chips.” Milluki insists. His rounded face twists in anger and he releases his hold on Light. “I’ll pay extra, if I have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is, after all, a Zoldyck- Zoldycks get what they want. And if worst comes to worst, Milluki does have a few tricks under his sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light, the always careful, starts to feel his cleverly-made facade slipping slightly. He just needs the </span>
  <em>
    <span>goddamn</span>
  </em>
  <span> chips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s probably too trivial of an incident to reach for the sheet of paper he keeps on hand from his Death Note, but that doesn’t stop the temptation from filling Light. He hugs the potato chip bag protectively to his chest and takes small steps away from Milluki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki, too, has death on his mind. He’s a Zoldyck, so of course he thinks of the subject often. But Milluki has never been as active as Kil or Illumi, and he knows this. He also knows of his grandfather’s motto to only kill targets. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s not worth it to kill randomly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But these two </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to kill each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because of the chips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light is logical. He has always been. He knows for a fact that going out of his way to kill this stranger over such a petty matter can only backfire on him, and on the current investigation against Kira. Yes, he knows this well. He’s already picturing L’s smug face, and even the thought of it makes his blood boil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It couldn’t hurt, though, to just find out this individual’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?” Light demands, holding the chips out an arms’ length away. Preferably, he’d introduce himself with his full na--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Milluki Zoldyck.” Milluki pronounces, puffing up his chest. Even Light is a little stunned at his luck. He certainly wasn’t expecting this hostile stranger to give him all of the details he needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand not holding the chips slowly creeps towards his inner coat pocket, where the folded piece of the Death Note lies. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I won’t use it, of course,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Light thinks, but his movements say otherwise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s just </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> pissed off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right, I’m a Zoldyck.” Milluki brags, waiting for the name to register in the face of his opponent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Light’s face never betrays any hint of recognition, and Milluki is annoyed. Is this guy dumb? How does he not know who the Zoldycks are?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unless, perhaps the Zoldyck name had not spread to as far as wherever Milluki was. In truth, it had been years since Milluki last left the house--he could only keep track of his family’s notoriety through social media venues, and quite recently a killer of the name </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kira</span>
  </em>
  <span> seemed to outperform the Zoldyck family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the same moment, Light is analyzing each word that Milluki is spewing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zoldyck, hm?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wonders how that would be spelled. Now would be a great time to have Misa’s eyes, but calling her out here would be too much of a hassle. A silly, silly thing to do anyway, because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s not going to write this guy’s name in the book anyway-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Light has a pencil stored in his pocket, and he fiddles with it as he thinks through a plan. What sort of death would he </span>
  <em>
    <span>theoretically</span>
  </em>
  <span> give him? Something inconspicuous, perhaps. But Light is aware of the cameras latched onto the ceiling which monitor his every move. In those cameras are the irrefutable proof that Light has met with Milluki. So it would be silly to even consider killing him… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki, too, is forming his own plan. At the moment, he has none of his usual gadgets, save for a switchblade in his pocket. Well, the teenage boy opposite him hardly looks as if he’ll put up a fight. Stabbing might be the simplest and most effective option.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two eye each other up, unaware of the hostile energy that permeates the rest of the store. Light, who’s only goal was to remain inconspicuous on his grocery run, has now brought the attention of the elderly convenience store cashier.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kids these days.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The cashier sighs under his breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light weighs every single option that he has, running over each scenario once, twice. That’s his style of fighting- a mental battle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately for him, Milluki hasn’t the time for Light’s overthought mind games. So he reaches for the knife and decides to get things over with quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hand over the chips.” Milluki tries his best to be fierce, not knowing how completely unthreatening he currently looks. Light doesn’t give Milluki a second glance, not even after eyeing the gleaming metal that Milluki is wielding. </span>
  <em>
    <span>As if a mere stabbing can kill me, the almighty Kira, the God of the new world-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki manages to grab onto the potato chip bag, and the game of stab has become a round of tug-o-war. Each hand grasping a respective side of the chips, they pull and pull, each boy growing more and more confident that they’re about to tug free until, suddenly-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there were ants residing on that polished floor of the convenience store, they might perhaps think the day of reckoning has come upon them. Out of the sky rains potato chips- some shapes uniform, others closer resembling body parts, these salty snacks cascade in a beautifully disastrous clump as they escape the confines of the foil bag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holding a side of the torn chip bag each, Milluki and Light slowly turn to make eye contact. The floor between them, the divide, is scattered with the plain potato chips, causing both to be at a loss for words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither Light nor Milluki bend down to collect the chips. That’s not the kind of people they are. Milluki isn’t even going to press the debate of the five-second rule. Both boys have realized the truth- they’ve lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light shoves his hands back into his pockets and stiffly turns away. Oh well; he’ll have to make do with the barbeque variety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of spite, Milluki reaches for a bag of each flavor of chips that the store offers. Their footsteps resound in the small building as they speed-walk to the counter, desperate to one-up the other and be the first to purchase. The elderly cashier says nothing as he rings up their orders and watches the two leave, shoulders tensed as they stalk out into the night with their chips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he is sure that the store is void of customers, he slides out from behind the counter, broom in hand. Humming slightly, he brushes the spilled snacks into a bin. Something occurs to him, which he muses aloud to the empty store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps I should have told the young men that we have more plain chips in the back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cashier: +1</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Light: 0</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Milluki: 0</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m sure someone must have thought of this before me, but, well, here's my take</p><p>The scenes of Milluki frantically crushing potato chips into his mouth as he clatters away at his keyboard reminded me heavily of Death Note’s iconic scene, so that's how I conceived this... thing. To be honest, I wrote this oneshot to procrastinate my other writing projects. There’s a lot going on in my life, and several current events are greatly affecting the area where I live, making it quite hard to focus on something like fic writing… </p><p>It’s been a while since I’ve watched Death Note, so forgive me if I haven’t completely nailed Light’s characterization (well, not that Light would get so pressed over chips- all of this is a joke). Also, since DN and HXH are entirely different universes, I’m not even sure when or where this silly oneshot would take place. Ah, well.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>